#im an adult with a job let me spend my money

[churchyaoi]

my dad keeps telling me to stop buying halo figures because ill lose interest in half a year like relax bro first of all you underestimate my autism second of all can i not have a little bit of joy in this dull life. and also if i do lose interest i can just sell them again. i know like 5 people who would buy them right now

[tinylittlebab]

hmm.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for saying I'm not rich?

Wait stop hear me out

So the thing is, my father is wealthy. Or at least he made enough money to have two Ferraris and a boat, which to me are the most useless things because why would u spend that money on this when u could spend it on food or commodities but details

When I was young, any time I asked for money or something, he'd make a huge deal about it. He'd make me feel awful, so awful that I just stopped asking for anything at all, starting from my teenage years to my college years, and I survived entire months, living alone during college, with 50 dollars to get by. For groceries and bills. And yes, he was nice enough to pay for my rent (170 dollars back then) but every time I'd be the worst piece of garbage for asking him. Worst thing was, I wanted a job, but he had this delusion that any sort of job that would take me, basically customer service, i wanted was "underneath my daughter" so he legit didn't let me and he'd go to big, big hoops to not allow me to do so

I'd never buy clothes or other necessities: I spent my teenage years just putting together what I got from relatives to make some savings, and I'd survive on that. He'd go splendid on my birthday and christmas, I guess, he'd buy me things, but I came to dread those days because the thought of him spending money -and how he reacted to it- always sent me into a blind panic so yes even though I got nice gifts I was never happy about it and I really really don't like my birthday

So I was always the girl who had two Ferraris to my friends, and they'd always get mad at me when I honestly told them "actually Im not rich" or "I'm sorry I'd rather go to the cheaper place" - because I legit thought i wasn't - and called me an asshole. But This was my father's money and I lived with him, but I rarely saw an actual dollar, everything I bought was with my savings and I spent years and years accumulating it, hoarding it. So I lived in this fancy house, but I'd wear 3 dollar pants and worn shoes because that's what I could afford with my money.

Note that even paying my school fees was a nightmare to me, because my father openly said I was a parasite and screamed at me but whATEVER

So um, my friends always said i was an ass for saying I didn't have any money, when my father was swimming in it. But when u survive on the allowance ur aunt gave u for an entire month, u really don't feel like it? and I always always felt so bad about it, because it felt like they were right and I was an asshole for pretending I don't have money. Except I didn't. I really didn't. That was all his, not mine, and while he did pay school and college flat rent, he was always making sure I knew what a burden I was for it. So yes, I'd still say I was actually not rich - even though I was lucky enough to have someone pay for me.

Anyway yeah AITA for saying I'm not rich? Tbh I really don't know if I can consider myself that, when it's not mine and I've never actually used it, it doesn't feel like it, but some tell me that's my privilege and I guess that could be right

Note: I am a grown adult now, I live on my own, pay my own things and have my job. And he's happy that he doesn't have to pay for me anymore, is baffled by my relationship with money (I don't like spending it ahah), not so much about me not living with him though. (The weird thing is he wants me with him, but not to take care of me which, honestly, valid) I do have a better relationship with him, but we never talk money because I live on minimum wage - ironically enough in costumer service - and he doesn't, so to me spending 60 on groceries is a lot (150 bills destroy me honestly, so winter is a joy) and he always, always mocks me for it. It's weird how he goes around with a Rolex and snuffs me for wearing Primark pants and then people constantly just... Think I have money at all and get mad at me when I say I don't

Anyway yeah AITA for saying I'm not rich? Tbh I really don't know if I can consider myself that if it's not mine, if I've never actually used it, it doesn't feel like it, but some tell me that's my privilege and I guess that could be right

[kings-highway]

would anyone read what would probably be a collection of one-shots or only vaguely sequential chapters that was like a slice-of-life/comedy series following the haikyuu third years working part time jobs unrelated to volleyball and developing weird, normal, adult friendships with each other because of it and then going back to school on Monday like "oh fuck right we need to beat them to go to nationals. thats gonna make seeing him at work weird. I hope he still covers my saturday shift if I win."

but the joke of the content would be that it's primarily focused on the work experience

so like Hinata and Kageyama come into a local grocery store and spot Aone and Asahi down one of the isles and spend a whole 30 minutes like "oh my god things must be so tense i hope they can stay civil" but theyre actually just retagging the canned goods for a sale and are just very efficient and silent.

and they go to say hi to Daichi at the customer service desk and he's stressed beyond belief, like, more stressed than they've ever seen him, and they're like "oh my god are you worried about going to nationals next month? yeah Im freaking out too!!"

and he's just like "what? no our new hire just quit so Im trying to rearrange the schedule and I think I need to ask Iwaizumi to cover closing for another few weeks and he's gonna be so mad. He hates working with Semi but I dont have any other options. Unless I wanna move- no there's no point in scheduling someone who doesnt know how to do it-" and hinata and kageyama just back away as he mutters to himself

Kageyama needs money for something and gets his first job with them and on like the first day he ends up working with Oikawa in the garden section of the store and expects it to be a chance for conflict and is all like "im not gonna let him bully me!!! we are equals here as coworkers!!!!" but instead Oikawa just sort of wanders around looking tired as fuck and very robotically doing his work and Kageyama eventually asks him if he's okay and Oikawa is like "dude ive been here since 4 am I dont even know who I am let alone if Im okay."

just classic grocery store employee hijinks

[pinkcannibal]

so i’m thinking that marilyn must be like… super rich, right? i mean from the looks of the Gates Mansion in the show, and the formal clothes the family were wearing in old family portrait, it’s safe to assume that the Gates were pretty loaded people. And the normal conclusion is that all of their money got inherited by Marilyn after they died. i guess im asking if you could share any personal headcanons/thoughts you have on rich!Mari? Like I just imagine her taking Reader out to this super fancy restaurant for their one year anniversary and Reader nearly passes out when she sees the prices. But Marilyn picks up the tab like "oh no don’t worry honey it’s no big deal" 😭 Idk Idk I just think it’s a fun lil headcanon to ponder about

oh im literallyyyy going to touch on this in my fic! she 100% inherited the gates fortune and mansion, they were canonically loaded and its real to me marilyn grew up as a rich girl <3 kdkkdfk like marilyn buying/paying for everything when it comes to reader in the fic is definitely coming up.

like marilyn to me has so much money to spare, and now that she finally has someone in her life she adores that she can spend it on??? yeah shes a menace

marilyn will buy reader high quality lingerie just to rip it off. will not care if she tears the lace bra in her need to bite and nip to her girls tits. and reader, her whole life used to not having pretty expensive things, will always blush and whine bc she feels soooo bad when they do get ruined. marilyn does not care, she buys her more the next day <33

if reader starts to get shy/protest on how much marilyn spends on her, this woman will distract her by going down on her and eating her out until she knows her sugar mommy tendencies are incurable <33

plus, shes giving reader everything she missed out on as a child. an adult in her life that will get them things without question and not ever call her selfish for it, and it heals both of them! marilyn gets to provide. reader gets to want things and not feel guilty

if reader is staring at something on her phone intensely while scrolling? yeah marilyns peaking over her shoulder and already putting an order in for it. not without teasing tho. "wow, sweet girl. thats so pretty. want mommy to buy it for you?" she doesnt have to ask, she definitely is, but its so worth it to see reader squirm in her hold and blush and force reader to ask for it.

like you said, treats her to theeee most nicest restaurants. lets reader get whatever she wants. it takes a few tries and dates together for reader to feel comfy ordering expensive things. she gets sooo dumbed down and needy tho when marilyn feeds her bites and runs her hand up her girls thigh <33

reader is well aware of how this looks. if you told her a year ago she'd have a sugar mommy milf hot teacher gf she'd think ur insane. so when marilyn starts to gift things if reader gets a good grade/achieves an accolade or something similar? it makes her soo submissive. just: "good job honey, you did so well on this exam. which do you want, those earrings or the ring you were eyeing yesterday?" and reader just stares w puppy eyes, blushing, like. "oh. um. both? <33" (she obvs gets both)

[unknownb0yg1rl]

Didn’t post this yesterday bc I was absolutely exhausted so I apologize, anyways here’s the update of my entire fucking weekend bc it was a tc filled wreck. So as some of yall know my tc has never taught me and never worked in my school however he has helped me with my work before. This starts Friday when I get back from doing something really late. I don’t get home till one and I have work in literally three hours, so being the codependent hoe I am I text him complaining about it. The next day (Saturday) guess who spends the ENTIRE DAY at my work. I am about 99% sure I almost tackled him to the ground when I saw him. So like while we hug he keeps walking us backwards so he can talk to my mom who is behind me (yes I work with my mommy but it is no longer healthy so I’m looking for a new job) he just hold on to me the entire time he’s talking and when I tell yall he smells so fucking good. Anyways I work for a few more hours and my dad picks me up (no I don’t have my license or a car but I’m working on it) when I get home I am in so much pain that literally nothing helps with. I text him crying (again) and he tells me “if I could take away all your pain I would” and I literally fall asleep thinking about that. Sunday nothing major happens but I am supposed to meet him on Monday and I’m so looking forward to that. Monday comes and we open late so I didn’t have to come in till like 11. The first thing I do is walk around and clean things up and guess who tf I see. He ends up spending literally all day at my work again. I get off at 2:30 and go find him and he helps me with a paper I’m writing, there is an entire paragraph about him in there. And when we get to the paragraph about him he goes “aww you’re so sweet honey” well we finish my paper and I ask him if he could drive me home, AND HE SAYS YES. The minute we get out instead of pulling out his cigarettes like he usually does he pulls out a fucking vape (was not happy abt this bc I think vapes look dumb but whatever im still a fiend) I have my cigs in my bag and I wanted to smoke before we got to his car bc he doesn’t smoke in his car but I don’t say anything and js keep walking bc I can js smoke when I get home. Anyways we get to his car and he starts playing music and THE LYRICS RELATING TO ME AND HIS SITUATIONS?!? Anyways we pass his vape back and forth the entire way to my house. I had so much fun w him but I never wanted to leave his car bc it smelled like him and it smelled so fucking good. He drove me home and refused to let me give him gas money. I actually fall more and more in love with him everyday.

Reminders I am an adult who can consent and has the ability to do whatever she pleases and make her own decisions

[hontou-baka]

relationship ranting idk

blurgh i hate when im slapped with similarities between my ex and my current bf

I got married without a wedding, or rings, or anything traditional, to my ex so I could use my own tax info for school (plus it seemed like a safe risk in a seven year long relationship lmao). The semantics of it were clearly unimportant to my ex (i had to buy us both rings, and again, no wedding) and i felt embarrassed bc those things are important to me, so we never told anyone about getting married really.

Now that I'm close to getting the divorce done before baby comes, my bf is talking marriage. But in the same "just for the legal benefits" way. And i do want to get married... And i know it would help his taxes and whatnot... But my heart breaks thinking about doing the exact same dumb thing again, and idk i can make myself do it. Like... Sorry, prove im important enough to you to spend a couple hundred on a cute ring, get some photos of us taken together, hell even if he saved money for a nice elopement trip thats fine! I feel like aggretsuko with the donkey guy... Tadase? Idk i dont remember. Im sorry im kind of basic but as a cisgendered white woman that was raised mormon, ive dreamed about a beautiful wedding and feeling loved and celebrated since childhood... I think i should stand my ground on this :/

Another thing. Both have sleep issues and expect me to get up with them in the morning to help them get ready so they can sleep in as much as possible. And im made to feel bad about it if i complain because i dont have sleep issues. Im sorry you havent bothered your whole adult life to find a way to manage with your sleep problems, and im happy to make you food while you shower here and there, but that should not just be expected of me! And its not reciprocated! Its not like i make him get up with me, i would just leave him be and let him sleep because... I love him? Want him to be comfy? Ugh.

While im venting, ADHD IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO NOT DO CHORES REGULARLY!!!!! I DONT CARE!!!!! IF HIM AND I DONT WORK OUT IM GONNA HAVE ADHD BE A RED FLAG I SWEAR TO GOD BC EVERYONE I KNOW W IT REFUSES TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO LIVE WITH IT!!!! Im getting beyond furious that he has to be asked FOR EVERY. LITTLE. THING. You eat and use dishes. You put your dishes with the other dirty dishes. Thus. YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE PILE OF DIRTY DISHES... MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. YOU CANNOT USE THE "OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND" EXCUSE IN OUR TINY ROOM!!!! YOU CAN *SEE* THE FULL LAUNDRY BASKET THREE FEET AWAY FROM YOU!!!! YOU CAN SEE THE GOD DAMN CHORE CHART TWO FEET AWAY FROM YOU I MADE SO YOU COULDNT USE THE "BUT IDK WHAT TO DOOO OR HOW TO HEEELP" EXCUSE!!!!! YOU CAN SMELL WHEN THE CAT TAKES A HUMAN SIZED SHIT AND KNOW YOU NEED TO SCOOP TOMORROW!!!!!! YOU!!!! JUST!!!!! DONT!!!!!!! *WANT TO*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the funniest fucking thing is i TRULY wouldnt mind having a more "traditional" setup, id be fine doing 90% of the chores if he even worked 20 hours/wk consistently. But im thinking as soon as i feel recovered from birth i want to find a job myself because he just lets his anxiety win too much and cant hold a job, and i have actual goals in life lmao 🤪🤪🤪 but if i made him a stay at home parent im sure id be coming home to a world of frustration (things that need done never being done). Im just at the end of my rope bc with chronic mental and physical health issues, i get he cant do what most people can (same goes for me, not as severe on the physical side tho) but god it so often feels like weaponized incompetence. And i think it partially is. Ive talked to him about this over and over and it always ends with "just tell me or ask... Even though you shouldn't have to..." BUT THATS THE POINT!!!! IM NOT GONNA BEG YOU TO HELP ME KEEP OUR LIVING QUARTERS NOT MISERABLE, MAN!!!!! USE YOUR EYES AND YOUR HEAD!!!!

I joked about banning war thunder for a week post birth and he seemed shocked id even think about asking him to not game for a week (his only hobby/leisure activity). Idk.

ok that feels better i guess ill get back to my mashed potatoes

[tellywoodtrash]

// trigger warning for abuse and panic attacks //

hello TT. I'm so sorry for oversharing but i literally don't know what to do right know.

I'm 18 and my parents are abusive in an physical, mental, emotional, and every other sense.

I'm going to college this year and for years i thought that if i could just move away for college, i would be able to heal away from them. i would finally be free.

but they didn't let me apply to any out-of-state colleges. so now I'm stuck with them till idek how long. i wish i could just rent a tiny appartment or something but i don't have the money. and i can't live in any in state hostels either because they don't accept students who live in the same state.

as a result, my depression and anxiety has gotten so much worse. im having multiple panic attacks a day and i don't know what to do.

i don't know how i will survive anymore torture from them. i don't see a way out for myself. what should I do?

Dearest baby friend,

First offf, sending you biggest and tightest hugs. You are being very brave reaching out to me through your pain.

Crappy parents are just a shitty lottery result, and the worst bit is, you cannot change them. What you can change however, is how you react to them. It will take a lot of work, but train yourself to not hear the shitty things they say to you. It's extreeeemely difficult to grow out of wanting your parents' approval (esp. for us desis) but that's what you've got to do. By now you must have realised that no matter what you do, there's no pleasing them. So fuck it. Do what you think is right (PRUDENTLY, within reason; try not to rock the boat too much) and fuck their opinion. It's just white noise. Stop allowing them to affect your mood. Free yourself from them emotionally, and you'll see a lot of their power over you is diminished.

Is there anyone in the extended family you could reach out to? An aunt/uncle/grandparent etc? Maybe just work on forming a bond with someone like that, an adult whom you can trust to have your wellbeing at heart. Worst situation, you can move out to their place. But that's just in case of emergencies.

Now that you're starting college, I assume you'll have a little more freedom than you did in school, time wise. Try and use that to spend as much time away from your parents, whether it be in the college library, or with friends, etc. Come back home at reasonable times, and then just say you're exhausted and go be in your own space. Try and build a life outside of home and treat this just as a place to come rest your head at night.

Most importantly, you need to start creating an action plan to become financially independent as soon as feasibly possible. The sooner you have your own money, the quicker you can break your parents' control over you. You can move out to PGs or working women's hostels, or whatever. There are a buncha places that will pay you for small online tasks, like fiverr and upwork and stuff. All you need is your computer and an internet connection. If you have skills like graphic design and video editing etc, even better. Do some research into those. Depending on your college major, your professors might be able to help you get some small stuff within the college as well, as a research assistant or something of the sort. If/when you find a professor you form a good bond with, tell them you're interested in participating in projects or whatever, and that they should keep you in mind. These professors will also be able to give you good recommendation letters and connections when you graduate and are looking to move into the job market.

Since you don't have much disposable income rn, I realise it might not be feasible to suggest therapy to you; but please know there are online options that take like, a 1000 - 2000 bucks per session (look up The Mind Clan.) If that's not possible, I'd like you to try doing some self therapeutic reading that might be helpful. Research books written by professionals in the field (for eg Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Dr. Susan Forward; and Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal by Donna Jackson Nakazawa) and absorb their messages and do the exercises if any, to help yourself understand how this relationship has affected both your mental and physical health, identify patterns that you may have built up as defense mechanisms to cope, and how to move forward with healing.

Please know, that you WILL eventually make it out of this situation. Maybe not now, maybe not in the current foreseeable future; but eventually you WILL become financially and emotionally independent from your parents and will be able to do as you wish. It's just about hanging in there a little longer. Use this time to prepare yourself to be self sufficient in the real world, and freedom shall come sooner than later.

Please take care of yourself in the meantime. I love you lots and am rooting for you.

[avo-kat]

i think one of the hardest lessons i had to learn (and still do) as an adult is that im allowed to improve my life.

even in small ways. even if it already works just fine. even if it would be more expensive.

some examples:

i had a broom that broke in half so i had been using the half-length broom for years, being annoyed every time i had to use it and always having a sore back afterwards. it only occurred to me much later to simply spend the 3€ on a new broom. instant and huge improvement

i hate getting my hands wet when doing the dishes, so i avoid doing the dishes. simply buying a 1€ brush with a long handle helps with this issue

i used to put my dishes brush on the side of my sink, where it constantly fell and i constantly had to pick it up. i spend 1€ on sticky tag and a hook so i could hang it by my sink. no more bending down and picking it up

living with a squeaky door hinge for YEARS. hearing the squeak multiple times a day and always being annoyed. spending 5€ on wd-40 and its instantly fixed.

its simple shit like that and i know many many maaaany people like me that simply dont realize they are allowed to FIX and IMPROVE things.

you are allowed to buy better things, even if you already have something that gets the job done.

i have a cordless, bagless stick vacuum and without it i'd be miserable. i always hates having to lug the regular vacuum out of the closet, plug it in, drag it around, remember to buy new bags, etc., whereas my new stick vacuum just stands there at the side and i can immediately turn it on and vacuum up the few crumbs my cat made after eating. i dont have to be annoyed by either letting the crumbs be there for days and i dont have to annoy myself by dealing with a shitty vacuum.

and its not even just a money issue. like many people have issues brushing their teeth. that could be helped by using kids toothpaste that tastes yummy, for example.

i absolutely cant deal with sun in my face. sunglasses didnt help. well i bought a cap and its an instant relief and im wearing it everyday now.

its just simple and obvious things like that. and im still working on this, but yeah.

[spindash]

its crazy Cuz i actually have money like my own money that i have been savig since i was five or whatever like juet birthday money and grandparent visits and occasional housesitting i think its only ermm $250 MAYBE its been awhile since ive counted but anyway i cant spend any of it online becuz well. its all cash. and my parents wont let me get a bank account WHCJH IS CRAZY!!!!! because im going to be 21 this summer. but they just refuse to take me to the bank and have for last almlst three years since i became an adult theyre like well whats the point if you dont have a job so no :/ but thy also wont help me get to a job so seriously what the fuck ever

[weabooweedwitch]

The problem is that you constantly feel wronged for things that don't really make sense to feel wronged for. Your mom not wanting your hairbrush in the shower? Does that really require an apology? Your manager leaving sticky cans? Is that really not something you can just let go? Your mom trying her best and taking you to a dentist to try and fix your dental hygiene issues? Is it really crime of the century for her to take a job-related phone call in the car, for that job search you've been hounding her for for weeks even though she requires serious dental surgery? The reason I say you want special treatment is because you expect everyone to bend to exactly what you want from them all the time, and you feel like they've committed a huge crime if they don't. Wanting people to bend themselves to your desires all the time and throwing tantrums when they don't is wanting special treatment. EVERYTHING is a sleight to you. You know exactly what you're doing.

I just can't even understand where you're even coming from. My hairbrush isn't bothering or hurting anything by being in the shower and all I asked was that if my mom took it out to put it back, because she literally raised me on "if you're the one to move it, you need to be the one to put it back" but now that I'm an adult and asking the same thing from her, I have to ask her over and over. Where I was scolded, she's just allowed to shrug it off. My managers are grown adults and I am literally the only night shift employee for my entire zone and it is a basic part of your job to clean up any food you bring or open, and especially in my work zone because it's actually a hard rule that you can't leave food because it can attract pests and im frustrated because I am being hounded to do more qork than I am physically capable of and I have to keep taking time to clean up entire overflowing bags of trash when the container it goes in is literally just the next area over and there is by the way a temporary trash bag I hung up for non plastic trash and they qont use that either, they've just left entire coffees on my only flat surface I have to work on. The job related phone call was her taking it literally the day after she applied which looks desperate and because she basically called them on the fly, she wasn't at home to look at materials related to certain questions she was asked, so her rushed decision could have ruined her chance at being hired there, and she did that after inviting me to spend time with her I the car, she asked me, and I come down and she's on the phone where the entire point was that we were leaving to smoke, you know that thing where you cough and can be loud? And she shouldn't be trying to make a phone call for a job interview in the car in the first place when we're literally parked next to a park with a playground with screaming kids in the background?

The only thing I've really been hounding her for is the plasma donation, I KNOW she's constantly applying for jobs, but the plasma donation is a very easy form of money and I'm literally living paycheck to paycheck paying for food, gas, phone bills, utilities. She is home 24/7 and I'm coming home to her having her food dishes for her reptiles MOLDING next to our kitchen sink?

I'm frustrated because these are the kinds of things she would hound me over growing up. "Oh you're at home all day anyways you should be helping out" "oh clean up your dishes before they grow mold on them" "you've been sitting at home all day depressed can you at least do the dishwasher"

I never asked her to do exactly what I wanted, its that she's a hypocrite that won't ever compromise! I see her do things she literally bullied me for and whenever I try to talk to her, just like with me she will get offended and shut down at even the slightest criticism

I'm not expecting her to be perfect, I just want her to stop causing problems for us when they're easily avoidable things? She's had an anti rusting kit for her car for over TWO YEARS and she is still mentioning every other day "oh I need to put this on my car, it's rusting" nd now the rust is ligerallt forming holes and she won't even park it in the garage she's not paying for because it's a slightly longer walk. The things I'm getting mad at her for are either things she's being massively hypocritical about or things with actual significant financial consequences! I don't NEED her to be perfect and do every single thing I say, I just want to have one month of my life where I'm not alone with her and suddenly she's trauma dumping about all the things she forgot about that spiraled into larger bills or bigger problems but when I try and tell her about my own struggles I often get blamed for them and talked over

"I know exactly what I'm doing"? No, no I don't actually! I've been trying my whole life to try and figure out how to do everything the best I can and do everything "correctly" and things never change! There's always another bill that was forgotten about or eviction because rent was late too many times or her quitting another job even when we're borderline homeless, because she gets frustrated just like me. And I understand she can't even go to therapy like I can because of insurance and she's had to work so long but I will literally be telling her to her face "hey you did this thing that hurt me" and she will ALWAYS turn it back on me and I NEVER get apologized to

I've tried literally everything I can think of. I've given everything I could until I had nothing left and things were still demanded of me. My god I was literallt a child and I would be trapped in a car as my mom ranted about bounced checks and her coworkers dealing drugs and making racist comments about "oh I'm not getting rhe credit I deserve whereas POC Coworker can be incompetent and they're in management" like. I've been overwhelmed every single year of my life ever since I was born and its never stopped! I'm just tired! I just want things to be normal! I just want to be able to not worry about being homeless and not having food or worrying a out having to get a new car again every few years!

I just don't know how or what I'm supposed to do. If I'm becoming dangerous then the only thing I can think of is removing myself from the equation entirely

[ellipsisdiary]

i'm starting to hate some of my friends

its partially the depression worsening but also my friends aren't maturing at the same rate i am

i've been "mature" since i was 6 or 7, but with the ae wrecking my brain from 14-17, i finally turned into an adult as i turned 18

and i'm worried about things like bills and work and uni and my health

but theyre doing so good and i'm jealous and i know some of it is jealousy but why do they get to be children/teens when i had to grow up too fast and spent my senior year in hospitals and crying on the floor

and theyre getting to do senior skip days (instead of sick days 3x/wk) and are applying to good schools and i forgot theyre rich and just. so different from me.

and we used to have lots in common, but i've been forced to be an adult while they get to enjoy things that i never even got a chance to do

and they're getting to do the things that i wanted to do

going to nice schools, far away (i have to stay close for medical care and scholarships)

and i would love to get piercings and tattoos but i'm worried about the cost of my meds and groceries

and theyre like. i know its not super intentional. but they keep rubbing it into my face and im rarely invited when they go do things

god i just want to have a normal college experience

my head hurts like it always does and i'm on the brink of tears. i should probably go take my meds for panic attacks before it gets bad.

i'm just so fucking jealous of them. and they are so priviledged and don't realize it. $50 for a piercing is nothing to them but i can't spend that or i'll be unable to buy something i need

god i fucking hate this and i know its not them were just growing apart but i want to start fights and scream and act like a little kid because im sick of being left out even non intentionally because i just dont have the money

"get a job" (im relying on my savings) I CANT WORK BECAUSE IM DISABLED AND IN SCHOOL and my body physically wouldnt let me do both

god it just goes down to this feeling of abandonment and depression is making me less interested

but its 2 people in particular they're a duo and one of them is turning into a bad person and the other one doesn't realize their priviledges

i want to hang out with my other friends but i just. i'm busy and too tired when i do have time. but these two friends are consuming my mind.

i just. i want to ask them if they even want to be friends anymore but i don't wanna be that confrontational

because i don't enjoy spending time with them, i feel like they don't realize their priviledges

its not okay and i'm gonna spend time with people who care about me instead.

[gvftea]

“I have money saved up, eventually that money will run out if I am out of work for an extended period of time. My medical team currently has no way to estimate my recovery rate. It could be 6 weeks, it could be 6 months. And let’s say it’s closer to the latter…how exactly do you expect me to be able to survive for 6 months with no income whatsoever? Rent, car loan, car insurance, phone bill, groceries, gas, etc. all have to be paid for those 6 months so regardless of if I spent the money on something to make me feel happy when I literally have had nothing but bad shit happen to me since I moved, it really isn’t going to make a difference in the long run if I am still injured and unable to work. -Kieran”

Now you pissing me off and I’m going to lay down some hard truths about life and being an adult

You are suppose to have 6 months saving to support a lifestyle for instances like this when life hits you hard with bad luck. That is why it’s important to live well within or below your means.

Making unnecessary life decisions that would drain your savings lower than 3 months and not making sacrifices and it a priority to build it back up is financial irresponsible.

When you are in financially compromising periods, your immediate priority should be to cut every non essential expense. Treating yourself and spending money on non-essentials is irresponsible.

If you took a job A. Without insurance or B. With an extended waiting period before you can be eligible for certain benefits, and didn’t supplement with your other coverage, that is irresponsible.

You need to apply for temporary disability and other social welfare. If you have not switched over your residence yet, that is again, irresponsible

Im sorry, this is ugly because life is ugly, it’s not fair, it never will be, it’s a cold, hard bitch, specially in America. You will never be able to control life but you need to plan for what you can control. For the love of god take some agency and accept that you alone are responsible for yourself. And the beautiful thing is when you don’t depend on people for money, they can’t say shit about it.

[minilovejoy]

one month before i reach a year in my job and i absolutely hate everything

besides earning, i really hate my job. i know it's a privilege to have one and to be able to support myself, but wow letting this in the open feels different but i do really hate it.

i don't know if it's the workload or the people i work with but i definitely hate being anxious clocking in and when it's my off, thinking what fuck ups have i made during the day.

and god do i hate being reprimanded and people noticing my flaws and thinking i never did anything right during my whole stay. i'm nearing a year and i don't have a scapegoat anymore cause who the fuck still making mistakes in their work they've been doing in almost a year?

and maybe i'm overthinking things but i definitely hate it. and tomorrow i'll clock in once again thinking what went wrong and believing that i never did anything right in my job. i hate my job. i really wish i could quit and not to be afraid searching for new one after being told that once i quit this job, i need to find a workplace witn a boss that will be so understandable because i always fucking cry at work.

i don't know why but i know i am not built for this kind of life and i hate people pressuring me to get this and that and start planning my adult life because hey! news flash i don't want to be one and i don't want to rush everything because i'm so fucking tired and we both have different timelines and i hate rushing things so what if i don't want to sign up for things yet and what if i don't want to get into a relationship yet and what if i just want to spend my whole life attending concerts and eating fast food and buying books i'll never get to read and why the fuck would you pressure me for something i haven't given a thought yet because i just want to fucking enjoy my fucking life!!!!!!!!! and buy silly little things with the money i have earned IM STILL YOUNG

[wildglitch]

Random Stuff for that NightGuard Denki Au I sometimes think about.

Im giving this lore so I can get it out if my systum

-I HC that mha happens about 100 year in the future from it was released. So 2113. If quirks appearred in 1913. Fnaf 1 took place in 1993 so make it a year earlier 1992. Im making it so that Denki was born way before canon, around 1977 give or take, so ge can be 15 when he starts working at Freddys

-since its about 100 years before canon, quirks are still super rare to the point that him having an electricity quirk is either unique or down right unheard of in Utha and it would be something people look for, to the point of ignoreing child labor laws. Landing Denki the job.

-I probably explained it in another post but to rehash it, Denki need money to pay for his aunts summer rent or else hes neing sent back to Japan where he will be grounded for forgeting to save up money. Make sense? Cool lets continue.

-Denki is givin the job for the summer, or the 6 weeks hes going to be there. His personal goal? Getting put onto the day shift. He dose not really feel like ruining his sleep the whole summer, so hes determend to get switched to the day shift and not get fired.

-I cant totally see some weird William worshiping going on in the company. Cause theres no way he could have gotten away wity so much shit and no one in the company knowing. He just has a little cult following working to keep everything under the rug for him. They are also very creepy, thank you for noticing

-Denki decorated tf out if the office

-His schegual gets wrecked so he spends his nights exploring the city on a skatebored and hanging out at empty parking lots

-he meets Michael, the son of one of the founders by chance when he was standing at a 7/11 at 3a.m on a sunday. He was gettung a slurpy in his work uniforme cause he noticed it gets him discounts and Michael notices, they chat for a bit and screw around a bit in a parking lot

-Michaels age is fucked so here my take. 1983, the bit happens, Mike is a crappy teen so lets pit him at 16. Years later, in 1992 hes a 25 year old guy hanging parking lot wity a kid thats around the age his brother should be.

-The Ghosts fuck with Denki hard! Or at least some of them do, its kinda a toss up. You see the ghosts recognise that hes a teenager (kid) and not an adult and that changes a few things. For some, its positive, since they had older siblings and/or trust the big kids enough to protect them, so they leave denki alone. Others, had older siblings. Thats all the explination I need, they attack him purely out of spite.

-Denki figures out pretty quickly that the robots are posseded, and he uses this to his advantage using things he liked as a kid to get on their good side, since technically they are the same age.

-He asked Michael for help, who wants nothing to do with Freedys, but gives in and help out realizing, whole crap this place is actually haunted. This sends him on a rabbit hole of trying to figure out what happend with his dad and sister. Cue Fnaf Sister location happeing on Denkis last week.

-Also, everyone thinks hes somr sort of lunitic for working at Freedys cause of all the rumors but he dose not and can not care. He needa money.

-I see Denki either, surviving multiple summers at Freedy until he gets killed and stuffed into a suit or dying on his 6th week and getting dragged into Mikes and Williams beef as another casualty.

-I can see Mike setting Denkis soul free and Denki just being like "nuh uh" and continues hunting Michale. Maybe trough a small animatronic or a plushie, and Mike feeling guilty decides, "ok fine, you live with me. Now help me plan on how Im gonna kill my dad"

-Denki in his undead prime, somehow ends up surviving till the MHA present day with a few other ghosts Like Michael and maybe one of the animatronuc kids and them with their animatronic knowlege and future tech get themselves pretty realistic looking bodys.

-Denki spends a few years enjoying life and decides that being a hero sounds fun, so he moves to Japan to try it out.

-the ghost kid find old cc tv footage of Denkis time as nightguard and post a compilation video online and it goes viral.

-UA kids and others regognize Denki in the videos and hes left in an awkwerd position of trying to decide to play it of or explain that hes actually a dead 15 year old that died more than 100 years ago

And thats that. Short, simple, not that complicated. I'll probably make anotger post with quick skits for this

[onmymasa22]

You know whats really nice? That when i see there r things that u say that just make me float. How u just want to b around me, want me closer, want me to calm down

Understands duality with being israeli and also something else in personality

Likes learning as a hobby

I am a professional chopstick user

I woke up this morning and

I had to have everything done at 10. And at 9:20 im sitting on the floor of my room figuring out what clothes i need to wash. My friend who crashed by me was like dalya?

When u tell ur roommates every night before going to sleep that u love them

Good friend that lets me use his Netflix: do u see how many tv shows i watch on murders

Me: yah but now itl

This week we talk about the mishkan. The supports of the mishkan were called

Someone who accepts and loves me for who i am

Someone who speaks english and hebrew

Someone who will travel outside of israel

Someone who wants a family, a home, a life on torah and mitzvos

I want someone who will learn alittle every day. A goodheart. Someone who ill go out with for more than two weeks

A guy asked me if i would go out with him to dinner if he asked. I said hed have to bring me flowers

מישהו שאוהב את השם, ויודע שהשם אוהב אותו חזרה. שמדבר גם אנגלית וגם עברית, שמאמין בכל כולו. חוש הומור טוב וחברותית. מישהו שאוהב ללמוד ורוצה לבנות בית על בסיס אהבה וגלידה. ��ישהו שבא עם משפחה חמה.

אני משיקגו, עליתי לארץ לפני 5 שנים. אני סטודנטית לאמנות וחינוך בשנה ג. גרה בירושלים. אוהבים לטייל בים, קפה, פיצה, לטייל בארץ ובעולם, לצייר, לנגן בגיטרה, ולהיות עם חברים. בצד אני מתנדבת ועובדת עם קשישים.

People ask me sometimes how I can study art when there's no money in it really. And it's stressful when people around me have adult jobs. You study to be a nurse and then you're a nurse. You study to be a social worker and then you're a social worker. That's great and one day I might be a nurse also. But I got the opportunity to study myself. To talk about what im passionate about, to create from dvar torahs that make me fall inlove with being jewish, to share things that are difficult for me to talk about, and heal from traumas. The classes arent about how much you memorized, they are about how exact your creation says what you wanted. It makes you really understand yourself. In the end, all you have in this world is yourself, so getting a degree and spending my time learning and loving myself and growing, healing, dealing with my feelings is what i chose to do with my time. I dont know what the future holds for me. But i trust hashem.

To talk about what makes me uncomfortable or interests me and grow. Studying art is really studying yourself. Learning to love yourself. Heal yourself. You get topics to paint your idea of home, of miracles, of memories, of yourself, of daily rituals. I feel like when everyone around me chose to learn for a job, i chose to learn myself. And thats also incredible, because i can get a job later. Right now, i get to paint and sculpt my feelings with my best friends. And thats pretty cool.

The Shvilei Pinchas

We know that Yosef saw his/Yaakov's reflection and that's what helped him pass his test. This reflection came from a window. But what was he doing at the window? He was lighting the menorah. It was Zos Chanukah- the eighth night of Chanukah.